When a child teases others, the environment often reacts annoyed. But parents shouldn't immediately start scolding and admonishing, but first of all have a closer look and ask. If a small thing was the reason for the blackening, the child should best be motivated from an expert's point of view to take the problem into their own hands.
A close look is important
"Mom, Max just took the shovel away from me!" Many parents know sentences like this and react annoyed to the child's prodding. But when children black out others, according to Ulric Ritzer-Sachs, parents should not scold the child. Instead, it is important to take a close look and understand the situation, the expert from the online counseling service of the Federal Conference on Educational Counseling (bke) told the news agency "dpa". Was it a “little thing” like the shovel that was taken away? Or was a more serious matter the reason for the teasing?
Instead of scolding, the child should better be asked whether they need help or support. "It is important that the child has security: if something is or I am worried, I can ask for help," explains the expert. Questions like "Who started?" Should be avoided, however, because the child can usually no longer reconstruct the specific situation. If the sniping occurs more often due to minor details, it makes sense to encourage the child to clarify these simple things themselves. Here too, however, it is important not to complain, adds Ritzer-Sachs.
Intervene if overwhelmed
The educational adviser and author Jan-Uwe Rogge also recommends parents in his book "Education: The 111 most common questions and answers" to look at the situation and the motives for the teasing well. Because "petting is not just petting", emphasizes the expert, so there can be no universally valid tip for an appropriate handling of it. But listening carefully helps to understand the background. If there is imminent danger, intervention must be made - especially if “children are overwhelmed with independent conflict resolution and need support,” Rogge continues. However, it is equally important to promote independence and to give the child the feeling that they can solve many conflicts themselves. (No)